Why is it that the moment a person starts sharing their inner thoughts they are labeled as depressed? It would appear that my initial blogging has worried certain loving individuals in my life and caused them to fear for my psychological state. Actually, I am not depressed, or, at least, no more than usual. In fact, I feel strongly that if most people were honest and open about their inner feelings, they would find that they have very much the same sort of misgivings about their decisions and doings that I do. I think the only major difference is that I am in fact (perhaps overly) open and honest about my misgivings, whereas most everyone else has perfected the ability to stuff and deny.
Case in point. Before we were married, my fiance (now husband) and I did some counseling with our pastor. Part of the pre-marriage counseling package was a lengthy questionaire we had to fill out individually. I guess it was supposed to show whether we were compatible or something. Anyway, I was my usual open and honest self. My husband was the normal stuff and deny (not that he has a problem with this. It's really something most everybody does, isn't it? ) Well, when we returned to hear the results of said survey, rather than being a time of discussing compatibility and relational stuff, it turned into an anti-suicide witch hunt by the pastor. Apparently, anyone who honestly admits that they don't believe they're the best at everything and that their spouse is rather wonderful is not so much modest, but secretly suicidal and depressed. This was not the case, and I have to say I continue to harbor some ill feelings toward said pastor, even after all these years. My husband can attest that I did not, in fact, turn out to be a suicidal, or homicidal for that matter, maniac. Just someone who tends to be a bit too honest about her own failings.
My point? I guess my point is that if you read this blog and find yourself feeling sorry for, or worried about, me in any way, just get over yourself and look inside. You may find that there are a couple of pieces of your puzzle missing as well. It's called being human. If we were all a bit more open and honest about it we would realize that there is nothing at all wrong with being human. I personally wouldn't want to be God, anyway. I'm sure I would just screw it up. :)
1 comment:
And I think this whole feelings out in the open thing is pretty cathartic, so good thinking. By the way, your house is the coolest, most kid-friendly house I have ever been to to this date. I feel like I'm five again (and a very happy five) every time I walk through your door. Don't know if that means anything, but it's the truth. Cheers, sis. xoxo Steph
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