Ok, so now that I have caused all of the sweet, loving wellwishers to leave the room in a huff, those of us who enjoy a little angst with our coffee (and it must be coffee. None of this week tea stuff. You simply cannot enjoy angst with tea. Although, I might make an exception for Chai, since it's just kind of cool. And Darjeeling. Mostly just because I like to say it. Darjeeling. Dar jeeeeee ling.) can continue our conversation in peace. Where were we?
Oh yes, school. After further thought I have decided to look upon this coming school year as a sort of scientific study. Therefor, I shall henceforth refer to it as The Experiment. (I know, not terribly creative. Feel free to give me suggestions.)
My thinking is this: How many mothers get to simultaneously observe two children in the same grade, one in the public school system, one getting a classical homeschool education? Usually the homeschoolers ardently defend homeschooling as the best route, while the public schoolers just as ardently defend their side, while keeping their children firmly ensconced in one or the other. I will have the singularly rare ability to really compare the two side by side. It should prove rather interesting, actually.
Anyway, that is probably a better strategy for the year than simply hiding in my closet weaping uncontrollably about how terribly messed up they both will be. Certainly preferable for my husband, anyway.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Day 2. Actually I don't think I'm THAT nuts.
Why is it that the moment a person starts sharing their inner thoughts they are labeled as depressed? It would appear that my initial blogging has worried certain loving individuals in my life and caused them to fear for my psychological state. Actually, I am not depressed, or, at least, no more than usual. In fact, I feel strongly that if most people were honest and open about their inner feelings, they would find that they have very much the same sort of misgivings about their decisions and doings that I do. I think the only major difference is that I am in fact (perhaps overly) open and honest about my misgivings, whereas most everyone else has perfected the ability to stuff and deny.
Case in point. Before we were married, my fiance (now husband) and I did some counseling with our pastor. Part of the pre-marriage counseling package was a lengthy questionaire we had to fill out individually. I guess it was supposed to show whether we were compatible or something. Anyway, I was my usual open and honest self. My husband was the normal stuff and deny (not that he has a problem with this. It's really something most everybody does, isn't it? ) Well, when we returned to hear the results of said survey, rather than being a time of discussing compatibility and relational stuff, it turned into an anti-suicide witch hunt by the pastor. Apparently, anyone who honestly admits that they don't believe they're the best at everything and that their spouse is rather wonderful is not so much modest, but secretly suicidal and depressed. This was not the case, and I have to say I continue to harbor some ill feelings toward said pastor, even after all these years. My husband can attest that I did not, in fact, turn out to be a suicidal, or homicidal for that matter, maniac. Just someone who tends to be a bit too honest about her own failings.
My point? I guess my point is that if you read this blog and find yourself feeling sorry for, or worried about, me in any way, just get over yourself and look inside. You may find that there are a couple of pieces of your puzzle missing as well. It's called being human. If we were all a bit more open and honest about it we would realize that there is nothing at all wrong with being human. I personally wouldn't want to be God, anyway. I'm sure I would just screw it up. :)
Case in point. Before we were married, my fiance (now husband) and I did some counseling with our pastor. Part of the pre-marriage counseling package was a lengthy questionaire we had to fill out individually. I guess it was supposed to show whether we were compatible or something. Anyway, I was my usual open and honest self. My husband was the normal stuff and deny (not that he has a problem with this. It's really something most everybody does, isn't it? ) Well, when we returned to hear the results of said survey, rather than being a time of discussing compatibility and relational stuff, it turned into an anti-suicide witch hunt by the pastor. Apparently, anyone who honestly admits that they don't believe they're the best at everything and that their spouse is rather wonderful is not so much modest, but secretly suicidal and depressed. This was not the case, and I have to say I continue to harbor some ill feelings toward said pastor, even after all these years. My husband can attest that I did not, in fact, turn out to be a suicidal, or homicidal for that matter, maniac. Just someone who tends to be a bit too honest about her own failings.
My point? I guess my point is that if you read this blog and find yourself feeling sorry for, or worried about, me in any way, just get over yourself and look inside. You may find that there are a couple of pieces of your puzzle missing as well. It's called being human. If we were all a bit more open and honest about it we would realize that there is nothing at all wrong with being human. I personally wouldn't want to be God, anyway. I'm sure I would just screw it up. :)
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