Well, according to my cute little widget, I now have two weeks until my newest baby is due to make her grand appearance. It's funny, but somehow even after nine months of waiting, those last few weeks are the hardest to get through. Every braxton hicks, every seemingly significant change makes me think that today's the day!! But then it's not. How disappointing. I was absolutely convinced that I was in labor Saturday. I had regular contractions all morning long and then *poof* in the afternoon, they stopped. Urgh. Then yesterday I woke up at 5 AM and simply had to clean the entire kitchen. Oh, must be the nesting instinct! But then, nothing. Urgh.
The real root of the problem is that I am thinking about it way too much. I understand this to be true, yet, somehow, I can't seem to stop myself! Just when I've finally gotten my mind on something else I'll have a contraction and there I am, obsessing again.
It's especially embarassing when someone else is involved. Saturday, as I mentioned, I really thought that I was in labor, so I told Jeremy. I even called mom to make sure she was going to be accessible "just in case." Then, when it all went away, I looked like a freak who doesn't know labor from indigestion. E M B A R A S S E D. Notice what A word lies within that word. That's what I felt like. I know that they would probable say that it was no big deal and that they didn't mind at all, but I just hate getting others all worked up over nothing. So, now I've decided that I'm not even going to mention my contractions until they are really intense and close together. I want to be completely sure it's the real deal.
You would think after having three babies already that I would be better able to identify real labor vs. false labor. I think it may be a psychosomatic thing. I want it so badly that I misinterpret what I'm really feeling as what I want to be feeling. Yes, and that's the other strange thing. I want to feel those hard, painful contractions. I want to go through that pain and stress. I need to. Fear and trepidation have transformed into obsessive desire. God has to be involved here, making us women long for something that humans normally try to avoid at all costs. I guess it's good, though. I mean, it's not like we can avoid the labor at this point, so we may as well look forward to it.
Hmmm....I can't think of anything else to talk about. I guess that's what happens when one topic takes up too much space in your brain. The rest of your thoughts fall out the back of your head. I suppose I could just sweep them up and put them back in, but I can't bend over very well with this rather large obstruction on my abdomen...
