The experiment- updated for the last time.

Yes, that's right folks, the experiment is officially over. As of Monday, we will be once again homeschooling Jacob. Well, technically, I started this past Monday, but I wasn't supposed to be yet. I called him in sick. It has to do with the time period I was supposed to give them notice in, blah blah blah.

Anyway, he's home again, and my house is once more whole. *sigh of profound relief*

Why, you may ask, has he come back to the home base? Well, there are a bunch of little reasons that basically add up to, you know, it's just where he belongs. I think it was always where he belonged, but both he and I had to be convinced of that before we could go on into the middle school years with unfettered hearts and unconflicted souls.

I know I haven't really updated this blog on his experiences in school nearly enough, though, so I think a list of goods and bads, of discoveries, so to speak, about the public school experience is in order. So...

Benefits of Public School:
Yes, there were real benefits I saw to his going to school. He actually gained a lot of focus and confidence academically. Suddenly he came face to face with the reality that the world is a very competitive place, especially in academia, and that he does not want to end up at the bottom of the pile. Once he worked through that fear and began really putting forth the necessary effort to make sure that didn't happen, he also discovered that learning is a benefit in and of itself and that he actually does have a passion to learn as much as possible, even if it means putting in a lot of work. You see, at home there is a tendency to see your school work as something of a drudgery that is taking you away from that wonderful pile of toys over there and that lovely outdoor world of fun just back there. Most of the time, at home, you're allowed to just have fun, so this sudden appearance of a bunch of, frankly, less than fun schoolwork is greeted with more than a small measure of resentment.

But in school, work is life. You have to do the school work. It's what you're there for. It's what everyone's doing. Resentment is wasted, as everybody is in the same boat and you just have to accept reality, bucko, because that's what this place is all about. So, you get over it. You accept it. You try to find what measure of joy and fun you can in the work, as it is what you're stuck doing all day long. Once he reached that point of acceptance that the day is about work, every day, except weekends, and that's just the way it is, he was better able to focus on and even enjoy the school work rather than just hope it would end soon so he could get back to playing. In school, it doesn't matter how fast you work, you're not going to be allowed to go play anyway. so you focus on doing your best work rather than just doing your fastest work. Therefore, Jacob's quality of work has gone up and his resentment of work in general has basically disappeared. That is thanks to public school.

Jacob has also gained confidence in his dealings with adults. He used to struggle with looking at adults' faces when speaking to them and tended to mumble a lot. School has fixed this, as well. Now he looks up, speaks loudly, and works hard to answer whatever question was asked the best that he can. In school, you have no choice but to do this. The teacher will not put up with heads down muttering. The principal and office staff and lunch lady smile kindly, but also expect a clear answer and eye contact. So, that is what he gives, now.

School is also a great place to experience the "fun stuff." You know, stuff like gym class, art class, music class, library, computer time, birthday parties, holiday parties, recess, etc. There is a lot of life and excitement in a school day. Not always so at home.

Benefits of Homeschooling:
I could actually entitle this section "bad stuff about public school," since that's really what I'm going to be talking about. In public school, the soul comes under heavy fire right from the get-go. The natural desire of all kids who head into that classroom is to be liked by everyone in it, from the teacher right on down to the person whose name you can't quite recall sitting across the classroom from you. You long to be liked. You wish to be respected. You hope and pray that you won't be the one that nobody talks to. So, you do everything you can think of to make this happen. You are nice to everyone. You don't say anything negative. You bring in extra money on popcorn day to give to somebody who may have forgotten theirs. You join the stupid club that makes no sense in that all it wants people to do is carry around a stupid piece of yellow paper to signify you're "in" it, and basically do everything the leaders say you're supposed to, even sitting throughout the entire recess. You don't make waves, even when the guy whose locker is next to you continuously closes your locker so he can get to his, even slamming it in your face when you're clearly trying to get your stuff out. But you don't tell on him. You're the picture of patience and kindness. You do everything right.

But you still don't get liked. You are ignored. You are attacked. You are ridiculed. You are made to feel completely invisible. Nobody talks to you. Nobody chooses to sit with you. Nobody seems to care about you. Even the teacher doesn't call on you. All because maybe you want it a little too badly. Maybe you're just not cool enough. Maybe they can sense your weakness, and, like animals, go in for the kill. The humanity in public school is replaced with a mob mentality, and it is sick and sad and very very damaging. If you have a sweet, loving, kind, wonderful child who maybe isn't the naturally "cool" one who easily makes friends, don't ever ever put them into public school. It will destroy them.

Jacob is now back in an environment in which he knows he is loved, no matter what, by every person here. He knows that he will be helped when he has a problem learning something. He knows that he will be encouraged to grow in the areas that God has gifted him, even if those areas are outside of "traditional" curriculum. He knows that he will have to work hard, every day, but that, at the end of the day, he will have the satisfying knowledge that he has grown and is on his way to a great future. We don't knock him down, here. We build him up. And, frankly, I feel like this house is so much fuller and better with him here, that's it's very very easy to encourage and love him. This is where he belongs. Now we have no more doubts about that.

So, the public school experiment is officially over. I do not regret doing it. He has benefited in lasting ways, even though he has also been forced to face some difficulties, too. He has matured. I do think I have gotten him out before too much lasting damage was done. And now, when the boys see that big yellow bus go by, I no longer see that longing glance, that inner wish to see what everybody else was doing, that feeling that the grass over there is just a bit greener, pass over their faces. No, now I hear a small sigh of relief, as if to say, "Thank God I'm not one of those poor kids." Yes. Thank you, God.

I don't frickin care if I wasn't tagged...

I'm gonna do it anyway!! So there!

My five places I would like to visit...


1) Greece
2) Israel
3) Paris
4) Italy
5) Cancun

Five places I'd like to visit again:

1) Toronto
2) Myrtle Beach
3) Grove City College (as I drop my boy off to school there!)
4) Lake Champion Young Life camp
5) Brandy Wine Falls, Ohio (there is a lovely bed and breakfast there run by the most interesting people you would ever meet)

Some sweet Valentine's day photos

Turning thirty

Well, I am turning thirty in a little over a week now. At first I was in denial about this, preferring to ignore the upcoming event. But now that's it's looming over me like an alien space vessal from Independence Day, it's a bit harder to ignore. So I am accepting it. In fact, I have decided to open my arms wide in my acceptance of it. Welcome, you fine big number. You have such a lovely round zero there. And the three! Why, threes are so in style right now! In fact, I've heard that threes are the new twos!

Actually, I've decided to use this change of decade as an excuse to try a few more changes. I have never been one to wear make-up, except when I'm on stage, but, in honor of the big 3-0, I have purchased a variety of new things. I've never owned an eye pencil before! And what is this about plucking eyebrows? Do people really do that? In fact, I am such a novice at the whole make-up thing that I actually bought a book to tell me how to do it. It's called, get this, Making Faces. It's actually filled with some really lovely pictures and interesting ideas.

I've also done something that is shocking, even appalling to some. I have, *gasp*, cut my hair. Not just a trim, either. I cut off over 10 inches, AND got layers put in it. Whoa.

So, presenting the new, grown up, 30-year-old me:


Sorry it's a bit blurry. New me needs new camera.
Oh, and take a gander to your right------> for some new pictures of my little Jady Lady. She's soo cute!!!

Under My Couch

Yes, you could probably sustain and entertain yourself for weeks down there. But take a shotgun. The dustbunnies are fierce.

My personal favorite commercials from the Super Bowl

Mommy moments

Today I had several of what I term "mommy moments". These are moments in the day when you stop and think, "Wow, this is what being a mom is really about." Some highlights:

Sitting on the couch watching Julia play make-believe using some of the wooden flowers she has ripped off of her bedroom wall. Momentarily annoyed at this, I suddenly stop and really look at her. Wow. I remember distinctly painting each of those little wooden flowers while I was pregnant with her. I painstakingly created different designs, alternating colors so as to best stimulate the baby's growing mind, working to make them look as beautiful and as perfect as I dreamed that this little girl growing inside of me would be. I had already had two boys, and had frankly given up hope of ever having a little girl, when God surprised me with this dream come true. I did so much to prepare for her, buying little pink clothes, decorating her nursery in girly colors, even making two hanging butterflies from those little latch hook kits you can buy at Michael's. But my favorite thing was making those flowers and carefully putting each one in just the right place around her room. And now the day that I had dreamed of while I was creating them had arrived. I have this perfect, beautiful, angelic child, blond haired and blue eyed like I dreamed her, sweetly pretending to plant those very flowers among our couch cushions. Wow. This is what being a mom is all about.

Bending down to kiss my two-month old Jadey lady. I kiss her lightly on her tiny sweet lips. At this moment, she spits up, directly into my mouth. I erupt into laughter, congratulating her on her perfect timing, as I spit and wipe my mouth on my sleeve. Yeah, this is what being a mom is all about, too.

I sit beside my daughter's bed, getting ready to read her a bedtime story. She has chosen a book of bible songs that she often likes me to sing to her. The boys come in to tell her goodnight. "Can I sing, too?" Joshua asks. "Of course!" I respond, opening the book wide so he can follow along. Soon I find myself surrounded by voices as Jeremy, Jacob, Joshua and I all sing "Do Lord" "I've Got the Joy Joy Joy Joy Down in My Heart" and "This Little Light of Mine" to a wide-eyed toddler. The book finished, my eight and nine year old sons bend down to kiss their two year old sister goodnight before quietly filing out the door. My God, You have blessed me with these children. Wow.

And another...

Yes, Joshua now has his own blog as well. He is at jjmckinnis.blogspot.com.
Welcome!!

Welcome new blogger!

Well, my eldest son has longed for a blog of his very own ever since laying eyes on his grandfather's game filled extravaganza. I informed him that he would need to learn how to type first and, although still fairly slow about it, he has. So, without further ado, I'd like to welcome Jacob to the blogging world. Welcome!! His blog is titled Bot Bash (referring to his love of everything robotic) and can be found at jpmckinnis.blogspot.com. Check it out!