The experiment- updated for the last time.

Yes, that's right folks, the experiment is officially over. As of Monday, we will be once again homeschooling Jacob. Well, technically, I started this past Monday, but I wasn't supposed to be yet. I called him in sick. It has to do with the time period I was supposed to give them notice in, blah blah blah.

Anyway, he's home again, and my house is once more whole. *sigh of profound relief*

Why, you may ask, has he come back to the home base? Well, there are a bunch of little reasons that basically add up to, you know, it's just where he belongs. I think it was always where he belonged, but both he and I had to be convinced of that before we could go on into the middle school years with unfettered hearts and unconflicted souls.

I know I haven't really updated this blog on his experiences in school nearly enough, though, so I think a list of goods and bads, of discoveries, so to speak, about the public school experience is in order. So...

Benefits of Public School:
Yes, there were real benefits I saw to his going to school. He actually gained a lot of focus and confidence academically. Suddenly he came face to face with the reality that the world is a very competitive place, especially in academia, and that he does not want to end up at the bottom of the pile. Once he worked through that fear and began really putting forth the necessary effort to make sure that didn't happen, he also discovered that learning is a benefit in and of itself and that he actually does have a passion to learn as much as possible, even if it means putting in a lot of work. You see, at home there is a tendency to see your school work as something of a drudgery that is taking you away from that wonderful pile of toys over there and that lovely outdoor world of fun just back there. Most of the time, at home, you're allowed to just have fun, so this sudden appearance of a bunch of, frankly, less than fun schoolwork is greeted with more than a small measure of resentment.

But in school, work is life. You have to do the school work. It's what you're there for. It's what everyone's doing. Resentment is wasted, as everybody is in the same boat and you just have to accept reality, bucko, because that's what this place is all about. So, you get over it. You accept it. You try to find what measure of joy and fun you can in the work, as it is what you're stuck doing all day long. Once he reached that point of acceptance that the day is about work, every day, except weekends, and that's just the way it is, he was better able to focus on and even enjoy the school work rather than just hope it would end soon so he could get back to playing. In school, it doesn't matter how fast you work, you're not going to be allowed to go play anyway. so you focus on doing your best work rather than just doing your fastest work. Therefore, Jacob's quality of work has gone up and his resentment of work in general has basically disappeared. That is thanks to public school.

Jacob has also gained confidence in his dealings with adults. He used to struggle with looking at adults' faces when speaking to them and tended to mumble a lot. School has fixed this, as well. Now he looks up, speaks loudly, and works hard to answer whatever question was asked the best that he can. In school, you have no choice but to do this. The teacher will not put up with heads down muttering. The principal and office staff and lunch lady smile kindly, but also expect a clear answer and eye contact. So, that is what he gives, now.

School is also a great place to experience the "fun stuff." You know, stuff like gym class, art class, music class, library, computer time, birthday parties, holiday parties, recess, etc. There is a lot of life and excitement in a school day. Not always so at home.

Benefits of Homeschooling:
I could actually entitle this section "bad stuff about public school," since that's really what I'm going to be talking about. In public school, the soul comes under heavy fire right from the get-go. The natural desire of all kids who head into that classroom is to be liked by everyone in it, from the teacher right on down to the person whose name you can't quite recall sitting across the classroom from you. You long to be liked. You wish to be respected. You hope and pray that you won't be the one that nobody talks to. So, you do everything you can think of to make this happen. You are nice to everyone. You don't say anything negative. You bring in extra money on popcorn day to give to somebody who may have forgotten theirs. You join the stupid club that makes no sense in that all it wants people to do is carry around a stupid piece of yellow paper to signify you're "in" it, and basically do everything the leaders say you're supposed to, even sitting throughout the entire recess. You don't make waves, even when the guy whose locker is next to you continuously closes your locker so he can get to his, even slamming it in your face when you're clearly trying to get your stuff out. But you don't tell on him. You're the picture of patience and kindness. You do everything right.

But you still don't get liked. You are ignored. You are attacked. You are ridiculed. You are made to feel completely invisible. Nobody talks to you. Nobody chooses to sit with you. Nobody seems to care about you. Even the teacher doesn't call on you. All because maybe you want it a little too badly. Maybe you're just not cool enough. Maybe they can sense your weakness, and, like animals, go in for the kill. The humanity in public school is replaced with a mob mentality, and it is sick and sad and very very damaging. If you have a sweet, loving, kind, wonderful child who maybe isn't the naturally "cool" one who easily makes friends, don't ever ever put them into public school. It will destroy them.

Jacob is now back in an environment in which he knows he is loved, no matter what, by every person here. He knows that he will be helped when he has a problem learning something. He knows that he will be encouraged to grow in the areas that God has gifted him, even if those areas are outside of "traditional" curriculum. He knows that he will have to work hard, every day, but that, at the end of the day, he will have the satisfying knowledge that he has grown and is on his way to a great future. We don't knock him down, here. We build him up. And, frankly, I feel like this house is so much fuller and better with him here, that's it's very very easy to encourage and love him. This is where he belongs. Now we have no more doubts about that.

So, the public school experiment is officially over. I do not regret doing it. He has benefited in lasting ways, even though he has also been forced to face some difficulties, too. He has matured. I do think I have gotten him out before too much lasting damage was done. And now, when the boys see that big yellow bus go by, I no longer see that longing glance, that inner wish to see what everybody else was doing, that feeling that the grass over there is just a bit greener, pass over their faces. No, now I hear a small sigh of relief, as if to say, "Thank God I'm not one of those poor kids." Yes. Thank you, God.